This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Anglicans and Catholics

The foundation of the Church of England is recorded in Matthew 16:18, when Our Lord says "Thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build the Church of England," and Peter replies, "Thanks, Lord. I was thinking of appointing a few women bishops and actively homosexual priests, if that's all right with Thee..."

St Peter

What I really need is a synod to tell me what to do.

The Catholic Church did not break away from the Church of England until 1536, when Pope Paul III decided that he could not accept the Anglican doctrine on marriage put forward by Henry VIII, the head of his church and defender of the faith. Since then other religious groups have seceded from the Church of England, such as the Methodists, Baptists, Quakers and Mormons (the Jews and Muslims left rather earlier).

The simplest way to tell the difference between traditional Anglican worship and the breakaway Catholic worship is to look at some examples.

songs of praise

The traditional dignity of an Anglican service.

This may be contrasted with the following.

clown mass

A typical Catholic Mass.

There is even a difference in the behaviour of the clergy, although the Catholics have copied the Anglicans in calling their ministers "priests" and "bishops".

Bishop Proudie

The quiet nobility of an Anglican bishop.

Contrast the above with the following example of a Catholic bishop.

Kieran Conry

No comment.


  1. darling eccles, if only that last bish had been consistent and made no comments about Fr Ray - still, perhaps he can make up for it by shutting up between now and Christmas? xx Jess

  2. And the Lord said: “By their dress ye shall know them…”

    Also: “He who denies Me before the BBC, him will I deny before the Heavenly Prosecution Service…”

  3. Dear Mrs Proudie (for it is she who stands beside her saintly evangelical bishop-husband). How ruthlessly she would shred the Slopian pretensions of the ACTA contingent, once she had come to her senses and recognised them for what they were.

  4. Dear Sir,
    I have been engaged on a comprehensive work of comparative religion for the past one hundred and fifty years and I have still not found any difference between Anglicanism and Baal worship. My wife Dorothea continues to scold me for my failures.

    Yours etc.,
    Revd. Edward Casaubon
    Tunbridge Wells

  5. Dear Rev Casuabon

    Look Ted - I hate to break it to you, but I was being a naughty old witch when I told you that.

    I well remember the fuss there was the last time you lost your key to all the mythologies down the back of the sofa and blamed Pope Pius IX. That was me too.

    Yours most unfaithfully

    Jadis of Narnia

    PS. That wife of yours is hanging round with a journalist at the Middlemarch Pioneer. After what happened to that Brighton clergyman, I suspect he is planning to stitch you up. I'd see your lawyer right away.

  6. My dear Miss Narnia,

    I am indebted to you for your timely warning. It appears that a man from the Middlemarch Pioneer has been lurking in my garden shed for several weeks. My gardener discovered a notebook in there with all his notes for the publication of a scurrilous press article showing that I do not run any soup kitchens for the poor.

    Naturally, I do not run any soup kitchens for the poor because I do not know how to make soup. On the other hand, I have always taken the trouble to speak to the poor on the subject of the One Great Spiritual Tradition. Is it my fault if they run away?

    Yours etc.,
    Revd. Edward Casaubon
    Tunbridge Wells

    PS Please don't call me Ted (nor Eddy Baby, etc.)

  7. Eddy Baby
    Chillax - all this stress is not doing your dicky ticker any good. With your syncretist credentials I suggest you apply to join ACTOR (A Call To Outright Rebellion). No need to help the poor - as long as you are generous with your wife's (sorry YOUR) cash, you can talk rubbish (sorry, dialogue) all day long.

    Jadis (Faithless Network 4 Manchester Representative with Observer Status)

  8. Madam,

    I have expressly forbidden you to call me Eddy Baby and I am much aggrieved by your tickled dick comment. Since you also mention my financial dependence on my wife, I must admit to a certain anger, not to say apoplexy... Oh dear...


    Yours etc.,
    Deceased of Tunbridge Wells
    (not yet emblamed.)