This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Wot Eccles did on his hols

Well I took a few days off from de hurly-burly of Notting Hell, and decided to go round England seein some of de sites. My first trip was a trian journey to Manchester, cos I wanted to see de famous town of Eccles; also I got a fan in Altrincham, wot spends all her time screen-cappin everyfink I says on Twitter and puttin it into a big scrapbook.


We leaves Euston in a Pendalino.

Dis aint gonna be a partickularly spiritaully nuorishin story, but I will try and mentoin some of de fings dat happened. Fust, it was a Friday when I left, and de trian got very crowded.

crowded train

After some commuters got on at Nuneaton.

Later on, our Virgin trian was delayed, and it seemed dat dere weren't no Richard Branson on it to complane to. But I later found out wot de problem was.

unsaved persons on line

Unsaved pussons on de line near Rugeley.

Still, the juorney eventaully came to and end, and I reached de North.



So I went to see my grate admirer in Altrincham, wot had invited me round for a cup of tea and a Pengiun.

old lady and penguin

My fan in Altrincham.

In fact she kept me a prisoner in her house for 4 days (all de doors and winders was locked) as she wanted to read to me from her bound copies of de luvvly Vatican II documents, some of which I doesn't know very well. I eventaully escaped and hid behind a sofa.

Eccles behind sofa

Hidin behind de sofa.

When I got away, my next destinatoin was Corby, cos de Archbishop is a great hero of mine. I took a photo of his cathedrall.

Corby Cathedral

Corby Cathedrall.

He was givvin a specail lecture in my honour called "How Eccles brought me spiritaul nuorishment" (6 p.m. to 4 a.m.). To put it simply, I contradicts all logical paradimgs and I show that, following St Augustine's anti-donatism and anti-pelagianism, it is imperative to court the panoptically hypostasized tasks of intertextual grounding.

audience sleeping

De audience listened in rapt attentoin.

About 2 a.m. he said "finally", and so I knew dere was only anuvver couple of hours to go. After Corby, dere was just time to head down to de south coast, stoppin on de way to see a deacon in Crodyon wot is a grate friend of mine, althuogh he does like screemin "sockpoppet" at poeple he aint met before.


De deacon is keepin a dossier on me.

And so we gets to Brihgton.

Brighton pavilion

I'm fairly sure dis is de Brihgton pavillion.

Well, not much else to record reely. I went to de seaside to paddle, but de tide was out.

Brighton beach

Brihgton Beach. A deep-sea diver returns to land.

And so back to Notting Hell, refreshed, and still a saved pusson.

I aint never put dis on my blogg, but I recently persauded my Bruvver Bosco to get baptised, which he hadnt done before. Here is a touchin snap of de occasoin.

Bosco baptism

My bruvver Bosco, bein baptised.


  1. Darling eccles, wot wonderful holingday snaps. Glad you had a luvverly time. Nice to see Bosco's piccy - we had some of his chums at my place for the week end :) xx Jess

    1. Good to see you back here, dere Jess. I thort you might have stopped bein a saved pusson.

      Your own blogg seems to be gettin a lot of reeders right now. Well done.

    2. That seems to be the case, Bosco has invited some chums, but we are working on them being sav'd pussons xx Jess

  2. It is a pity that, as a savd pusson, you felt it beneath you to accept my invitation to cocktails and turkish delight at home in Stockport, but instead went to do some fairtrade hobnobbing with some posh bird in Altrincham. You would have had a much more entertaining time down the back of my sofa with Fr Arfur who has just returned from Abersoch where he has been learning Welsh. He claims to be looking for socks, and occasionally I hear cries of "Enllibiwyd" "pypedau" and "Byddaf yn datgelu pwy ydych chi ar fy ngwefan"

  3. Sorry, Jaddis. I was afraid dat if I came to your place I might run into Phil skulkin in de garden. Or Daryl. Or Zach. Or Deborah. Or Megan. Or Wendy.

    1. As a self-employed fake Franciscan Tertiary (handfasting ceremonies with gerbils a speciality) Phil was summoned to Rome, to be offered the post of Superior General of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate. I imagine their liturgies will look somewhat different in the future.

  4. Welcome back, Eccles!

    I especially liked the audience in wrapped attenshun.

    Kind of like our Sunday congregation during the Spirit of Vat II homily…

  5. I almost wept looking at the lovely snapshots of English places & the underwater diver at Blackpool. Are you sure the train was not at Wolverhampton going to Birmingham? Congrats to Bosco on his baptism - I hope he won't clown around with his baptismal outfit.

  6. ¡Bienvenido de nuevo!
    Where wus you ?All is made plain at last.
    Specially like corby cathedral and its minarets.But all lovely , the nuneateon commuters....