This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 6 March 2016

The persecution of Cardinal Pell

The witch-hunt against Cardinal Pell, who happened to be in Australia at a time when bad things were going on, continues. Indeed, his worst enemies wanted him dragged back to Australia and tortured, in the hope that he might thereby suffer a heart attack. Now Pell is facing fresh allegations in connection with the notorious "Waltzing Matilda" affair.

jolly swagman

A jolly swagman. Could this have been George Pell?

Some time around 1895, a jolly swagman was known to have camped by a billabong under the shade of a coolibah tree. Nothing wrong with that, you may say, except that he grabbed a jumbuck and stuck it in his tucker bag. Later he evaded the law by jumping into the billabong, and was never seen again, except possibly as a ghost.

In vain has Cardinal Pell pointed out that he was not born until 1941, and anyway the "jumbuck" affair took place in Queensland, not Ballarat, Victoria.

Ballarat church


The next attacks on Cardinal Pell are centred on a reference in the Sherlock Holmes story "The Boscombe Valley Mystery":

Sherlock Holmes took a folded paper from his pocket and flattened 
it out on the table. 
“This is a map of the Colony of Victoria,” he said. “I wired to 
Bristol for it last night.” 
He put his hand over part of the map. “What do you read?”
“ARAT,” I read.
“And now?” He raised his hand.
“Quite so. That was the word the man uttered, and of which his son 
only caught the last two syllables. He was trying to utter the name 
of his murderer. So and so, of Ballarat.”
“It is wonderful!” I exclaimed.
“It is obvious. And now, you see, I had narrowed the field down 
considerably. The possession of a grey garment was a third point 
which, granting the son’s statement to be correct, was a  
certainty. We have come now out of mere vagueness to the 
definite conception of an Australian from Ballarat with a grey 
Cardinal Pell

Do you in fact own a grey cloak, your Eminence grise?

It is clear to many that Cardinal Pell was in fact the Black Jack of Ballarat mentioned in this story. Or else he knew him. All that remains to complete the case is the discovery of his grey cloak: the mere fact that we have not been able to find it proves that Pell must have destroyed it - clear evidence of a guilty conscience.


A kangaroo similar to one that was tied down by George Pell.

Nobody knows what the Australian national anthem is, but everyone agrees that it would make more sense if it were either "Waltzing Matilda" or "Tie me kangaroo down, sport" (it's a pity that the latter was written by Rolf Harris...)

Notoriously, TMKDS was performed by Cardinal Pell at a Vatican Christmas party in 2003, with an extra verse:

Stop me going to Hell, Pell,
Stop me going to Hell.
I’m not feeling too well, Pell,
So stop me going to Hell.
Enemies of Cardinal Pell have seized on this as evidence that he used to tie kangaroos down for sport, although so far no credible evidence has been produced. But it makes you think, eh? No smoke without fire. He's a traddy Catholic. Destroy him!


  1. Well I do live in Australia and this is no laughing matter. The media have had a field day and it has gone on for over a week. Every day the first item of news was about Cardinal Pell said this...or that.. or the Commisioner said that this is completely unbelieveable or that is. He was hounded and hounded and hounded. He was asked why he did not look at those who came to watch him give evidence. His guilt was implied. Clearly he must have covered up for the peophiles! Why, he even lived in the same presbytery with one of them!1 The fact that a former Father Paul Bongiorno also lived in the same presbytery and knew nothing about the pedophile..oh well..clearly he didn't because he is now a left-wing TV presenter!!! So he is innocent!
    I am not joking. I was furious at the witchunt. If you can watch "SKY News" and see an interview which he gave to Andrew Bolt, lasting 1 hour and 4 minutes, do watch it. It is fair and shows a much better situation than that which occured. This interview was made the day after the inquisition.

    1. The NO Church claimed it wanted to dialogue with the world, so I suppose that's what it's got.

  2. Wasn't that one of the 'Doctor Blake Mysteries'? Confused

  3. If Pell is a "traddy" then Pope Paul VI was Greek Orthodox.