2. Now some of them were Lutherans, but the Lord said "I shall not destroy them by fire, for they know no better."
"How nice of you to come and celebrate 500 years of heresy!"
3. However, the Catholics of Germannah had no such excuse, and the Lord was grievously offended by their deeds.
4. For there was a man named Rhino Marx, who had been set up as a leader of the Catholics of Germannah.
5. He came of a noble lineage, for his father was Karl, and his brothers included Groucho, Chico and Harpo.
Rhino, the last of the Marx brothers.
7. And in Germannah Rhino had decreed that there was only one possible sin.
8. Thus the man who committed adultery, the thief, the murderer, the bearer of false witness, and he who coveted his neighbour's ox were all deemed to be righteous.
9. But woe unto him who paid not his church taxes, for he would be excommunicated.
10. And Rhino Marx had a bed of iron, like unto that of Og of Bashan. For he had grown so fat by spending his church taxes on fatted calves and beer, that no wooden bed could support him.
"Guess what the Church is going to do next, Holy Father!"
11. Then one day Rhino spake out, saying, "Let us bless the unions of man with man, and woman with woman, which are very common in the lands of Swedom and Germannah."
12. "For there can be no evil in this if they have paid their church taxes."
13. And the Lord was exceeding wrathful, and said "I have made enough allowances for this fat buffoon."
14. "The time cometh soon when I shall rain brimstone and fire down on the land of Germannah."
15. And it was so.