This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 28 April 2019

Why JAMES J MARTIN, SJ is the Beast of the Apocalypse

As Revelation 13:18 records:

Here is wisdom. He that hath understanding, let him count the number of the beast. For it is the number of a man: and the number of him is six hundred sixty-six.

Many attempts have been made to identify the beast. Could St John have meant Nero? Or was it a prediction of Napoleon? Or Hitler? Now, at last I have found the answer.

Rachel Riley on Countdown

Eccles's assistant help with the hard sums.

One of the standard codings of the alphabet is the following:

A=1, B=2, C=3, ..., I=9,
J=10, K=20, L=30, ..., R=90,
S=100, T=200, U=300, ..., Z=800.
So we tried putting in various names such as FATHER (310), JAMES (156), MARTIN (390), LGBT (239), JESUIT (624), but nothing seemd to work. But then, Divine Inspiration! Fr James Martin actually has a middle initial, as is documented in several places, and it is J! (Nobody seems to know what it stands for, but my guess is Judas.)

Thus we have:

JAMES J MARTIN SJ = 156 + 10 + 390 + 110 = 666.

Well, who else could it be? When the man isn't promoting his "Mary Magdalene was the Church" heresy, or attacking traditional worship, he decides to get people talking about him by tweeting stuff like this:

Martin LGBT crap

About homosexuality (inevitably). Heretical views (inevitably).

I suspect that James J. Martin SJ has known about the apocalyptic interpretation of his name for some time - why else would he stop using the second initial?

So where do we go from there? Do we get an interview, with, say Steve Colbert?

Colbert: Jim, I understand that, in addition to being a best-selling author, fashion expert, and part-time priest, you are also the Beast of the Apocalypse?

Martin: Heh heh heh, yes, that's right. From now on I'm going to put "BOTA" as well as "SJ" and "LGBT" after my name when I sell myself for speeches, fashion shows, gay pride marches etc.

Colbert: Jim, you're the sort of Catholic I can really go with!

Westboro Baptists poster

Apparently he's very fond of country music too.


  1. May his oppressive rule be brief! Lord have mercy!

  2. What a revelation! Even at my advanced age I never stop learning. So that's sorted 666 out!

  3. "BOTA". LOL! We can all think of people and groups that BOTA applies to.

  4. A name which is the anagram of "Insert: Jam Jam" does not inspire much confidence in terms of sexual temperance either.

  5. Get out your decoder again and dial in Bishop Wilton Gregory