This is the spiritual journey of me, Eccles, my big brother Bosco, and my Grate-Anti Moly. Eccles is saved, but we've got real problems with Bosco and Anti.
This is me, Eccles
Thursday 14 April 2022
Elon Musk offers to buy the Catholic Church
Elon Musk, said to be the richest man in the world after Cardinal Becciu, has made a bid of $666 billion for the
Catholic Church (hereafter abbreviated to Cather). In a letter to Pope Francis, Chairman of the Church since a 2013 boardroom coup, Musk said that the
business was not thriving under its
current management, and that changes were needed.
The new owner.
This is not the first time that Cather has faced hostile takeover bids: in the 16th century the
entrepreneur Henry Tudor made an extremely savage takeover of its English business, "cancelling" many
users. Similarly, the tycoon Martin Luther attempted to force the German branch of the Church out of business by setting up a rival
platform. But this is apparently the first time that a bid has been made for the whole Church.
If Musk is successful, he is expected to sack the unpopular Chairman Francis, and install himself as boss, taking the title
Pope Elon I.
"Takover or invasion, which do you want?"
What other changes are we likely to see?
I'm glad you asked me that. We are likely to see the return of several people who were effectively silenced by
the antisocial medium - for example the notorious American Raymond Burke with his aggressive statements such as
WE WONDER IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO ANSWER A FEW DUBIA FOR US, HOLY FATHER? and many people who have
infringed "Community Standards" by praising the Traditional Latin Mass.
The new Musk-run Cather is unlikely to waste any time on synods, and all the pressure groups that have
so far exploited Cather to conduct such activities, such as the German Heretic Synod, the Deranged Feminist Synod, and the Jesuit LGBTSJ Synod,
will be in breach of Cather rules.
We live in interesting times. Possibly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Interesting times, indeed. Or curious. Or something. Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteIs this satire?
ReplyDeleteI look forward to the new catechism under Pope Elon.
ReplyDeleteOh, Eccles, surely you would know that he would only become Pope Elon 1 after his death and only if there were subsequently a Pope Elon 2. Pope Elon it would be!
ReplyDeleteHe's more likely to be named PopeYTI in keeping with the contrarian nomenclature of his offspring.
ReplyDelete