The scene: Hell. Satan is relaxing in a comfortable chair. Suddenly the late Eugenio Scalfari materialises before him. Satan: Ah, Scalfari. How nice to see you. Do you know who I am? Scalfari: Hmm, a strong smell of brimstone, an atmosphere of evil. Of course! I am in the archdiocese of Chicago, and you must be Blase Cupich! Satan: Well, nearly right. In fact, you've died and gone to Hell. My name is Satan. How are you? Apart from being dead, I mean.
Thanks to Johann du Toit for an idea.