Following the lead of Bishop Stephen Lowe of Auckland, New Zealand, Gammarelli's outfitters has
now agreed to stock the new "Snickers" vestments that are driving the Catholic world wild.
Bishop Lowe models the new vestments.
Apparently, the "Snickers" liturgy is as orthodox as Pachamama, it being a Polynesian custom
for clergy to wear chocolate bars round their necks when offering the Mass (or "Mars" as
they pronounce it). Depending on the liturgical season, the Snickers may also be
replaced by Bounty bars, Kit-Kats, Milky Way, Toblerone, etc.
Poor Hoho, the greatest theologian of our age, has
given his approval, pointing out that the new liturgy helps to implement Pope Francis's
Cardinal Roche has also declared himself very enthusiastic about the new vestments, and has
personally ordered a dozen Snickers necklaces ("and don't bother about the chasuble").
Mike Lewis of Where Pacha Is
has also given his imprimatur, although
regular readers of this blog will know that he normally prefers sausages.
On the other hand, this has been a good week for the Trads, with the announcement that this year's
hard-right fascist Chartres pilgrimage has drawn a record attendance, and
is now closed to further pilgrims. It is not known whether any of the devout will be wearing
Snickers bars around their necks although the event is something of a marathon.
Pope Francis is "delighted" to hear the news of Chartres.
Choc-a-lot of this up to Modernist nuts.ReplyDelete
"and don't bother about the chasuble"... Another apology to A. Milne?ReplyDelete