This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Showing posts with label Vox Cantoris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vox Cantoris. Show all posts

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

"I just want to be loved," says Fr Rosica

Fr Thomas Rosica, described in some circles as a "Vatican PR aide" and in others as "that big bully who threatened to sue Vox Cantoris" has complained that everyone hates him, whereas, in reality, he is a big softie who just wants to be loved.

Fr Rosica recently received the St Francis DeSales Distinguished Communicator Award from the Diocese of Brooklyn (yes, I collapsed into hysterical laughter at this point, too), so it is ironic that many bloggers apparently think of him as a neanderthal creature who communicates in grunts of "You're Blocked!"

Bill Haley and the Comets

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock BLOCK,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock BLOCK.
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock BLOCK,
We're gonna block around the clock tonight.

No, in reality Fr Rosica is a kind and generous man, meek and mild like Jesus - at least if you get your theology from children's hymns - who regularly helps old ladies across the street and nurses wounded sparrows with broken wings.

However, according to the great man himself, Catholics blogs create a cesspool of hatred, mostly because they insist on poking fun at him and his "Salt and Light TV" Catholic network. Thomas Rosica himself loves everyone, and has never been known to make provocative remarks about people who disagree with him. In the Year of Mercy, it was a difficult decision whether to use a logo of a two-headed man on skis, or a logo of a great burly man knocking people over, and many of us think that the wrong decision was made.

Kasper and Rosica

Cardinal Kasper cruelly grins at poor Fr Rosica.

We on this blog have never had any difficulty in loving Fr Rosica. Following his example, we wish only to build bridges that encourage encounter and inclusion, and to avoid misunderstandings that add to wounds and vengeance. We hope that other readers will feel the same. Why not invite Fr Rosica into your home - he likes nothing more than stroking fluffy kittens, so make sure you have some handy.

Oh, for goodness' sake - give the poor blighter a hug!

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Don't forget to say your Rosica!

The Rosary is old hat! From now on Catholics are encouraged to say the Rosica, a new sequence of prayers involving meditations on the Mysteries of the Rosica interspersed with cries of "Where's my lawyer?" "I'll sue!" and "I DEMAND an apology!"

Groucho Marx in court

Did you or did you not describe Fr Rosica as a "silly old buzzard"?

Named after Fr Thomas Rosica, of the Sue and Litigate Salt and Delight media network, whose response to criticism on the Vox Cantoris blog was to run to his lawyers and threaten legal action, the Rosica draws on some little-known sayings of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, including the following:

Matthew 5:11. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. For ye can get in touch with your lawyers, and SUE THE PANTS OFF THEM!

no pants

We've been sued by Fr Rosica!

Matthew 5:20. For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of Fr Rosica, then ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

Be ye perfect

"Be ye perfect, even as Fr Rosica is perfect." Matthew 5:48

Matthew 5:39. But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Thus wilt thou be able to claim DOUBLE DAMAGES.

Pope Francis and Fr Rosica

Pope Francis gives some boxing tips to Fr Rosica.

For more on the mysteries of the Blessed Rosica, we recommend the blog of Brother Lapin.