This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Bite me!

Well, Bosco spent most of Saturday evenin phonin round de local Cathlic preists and leavin insultin messages on dere ansa-phons explainin dat all Cathlic preists is pevrets. Dis is a necesarry part of savin dere soles. Sometimes de preists anwsered de phon demselves, for example, de Achbishop of Lost Angels was in when Bosco telehponed. Dis is what Bosco told me about de conservation dey had.

"Ullo, dere, Achbishop Gómez speekin. Did ya wanna buy an indullgence? I'se sorry but we aint doin dem no more. And de iddle shop is closed until Monday."
"BITE ME, José, you stupid Mexxican Cathlic! Watch it dat I doesnt put ya on my wonderfool blogg, ya pevret!"
"Ah, Bosco, my son, how nice to hear from you. Is dem Weirdozol tabblets helpin your delussions?"

But Bosco slamed down de reciever, we aint gonna cast our purls before swines. I got de Achbishop's pitcher here, see he's wearin a Babble-onion fish hat, dat proves he aint saved. He looks like a really viscous truoble-maker, don't he?

Dis man aint saved

On Sunday we went to de local Cathlic church to save dem sinners. In de end Bosco didnt go dressed as a pirate, cos de parrot on his shuolder kept sayin "I bin saved! Bite me! I bin saved! Bite me!" I can't imaggine where he gits dat from. So Bosco went dressed in some clothes dat he borrowed from Mrs Riddle, de Angle of Death. We slipped in quietly, blendin unnotissed wiv de congreggation.

Bosco incoggnito

Father Xavier O' Cise was givin a sermmon on de feedin of de five million wiv bread and fish and dat how dis meant dat de Cathlics should buy all de iddles which was on sale at de back of the churhc. He puased for a moment, and so Bosco and me got up and sang dis fammous Calumny Chappel hynm.

BITE ME, O Thou great Redeemer,
Clowning frew dis barren land.
I bin saved, but no-one else is;
Thanks to Thy almighty hand.
Bread and Pizza, wiv Pastrami,
Feed me till I wants no more;
Feed me till I wants no more.

Well dem Cathlics didnt hang aruond waitin to be saved, dey sent in an army of nuns to beet us up (de Little Sisters of St Rambo). Dey frew Bosco and me out into de street. See, I gotta photo which proves de truth of what I sez.

Little Sisters of St Rambo

Well, Bosco, how is we ever goin to save des wikced poeple?

No comments:

Post a Comment