"Don't worry, you can lose weight by dancing with the Rockettes."
Ten little cardinals going out to dine;
One ate far too much and then there were nine.
"Nighty-night, Eccles baby! I love you."
Nine little cardinals sat up very late;
One said "Nighty-night!" and then there were eight.
"Never offend people by mentioning Catholic teaching, that's my motto!"
Eight little cardinals defending Alfie Evans;
One wasn't keen on this, and then there were seven.
"Fiddling? No, I'm a pianist."
Seven little cardinals playing dirty tricks;
One rigged a synod and then there were six.
"Hello, everyone, I've escaped again!"
Six little cardinals keeping faith alive;
One preferred to change it all, and then there were five.
"One of these days I really must get round to correcting Pope Francis."
Five little cardinals studied canon law;
One asked some Dubia and then there were four.
"Money makes the world go round. That's in the Bible somewhere."
Four little cardinals on a spending spree;
One made all the money go, and then there were three.
"I can't see any problems with the James Martin approach."
Three little cardinals building bridges new;
One asked James Martin’s help, and then there were two.
"Lutheran? Catholic? Who cares if they pay their Church Tax?"
Two little cardinals at Communion;
One joined the Protestants, and then there was one.
"Oh no, what's Pope Francis up to now?"
One little cardinal left silent and alone;
He became the next pope and then there were none.