This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Showing posts with label Brisbane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brisbane. Show all posts

Monday, 2 January 2017

Catholics of the Year

The Anglican "Cranmer" blog awards a title of most inspirational (British) Christian of the Year, and this year it seems to have been combined with the Great British Bake-off, as the worthy winner is the cake-maker (or non-maker) Daniel McArthur. Other highly-commended people who have from time-to-time been mentioned on this blog are Fr Ray Blake, Dr Timothy Stanley and Sir James MacMillan.

So it seems only appropriate to award a "Catholic of the Year" title to someone who has inspired the most spiritual nourishment on this blog. The winner should probably be Pope Francis, but to avoid cries of "Is the pope actually Catholic?" we need to look further afield.

Spadaro sings for the pope

"Old Man Francis, he don't say nothing, he must know something..."

We reluctantly eliminated Cardinal Dolan at the swimsuit round (well, just before it, thank goodness), although the judges inadvertently allowed Fr James Martin SJ to compete in his mankini. Two of them are still in intensive care, as a result.

Cardinal Kasper continued to score highly, but he was disqualified for having an unfair advantage (being as mad as a hatter). Moreover, Fr Rosica refused to return his entry form, simply screaming "you're blocked" at our staff.

Dolan dances

Cardinal Dolan rehearses for the finals of COTY.

Of the British entrants, Prof. Tina Beattie was a bit quiet this year, although probably still very active in the "human flourishing" business, and Austen Ivereigh - in spite of a promising meltdown in December - did not put up a consistently nutty performance throughout the year. Others, such as Vincent Nichols, who can normally be relied upon to do something interesting, just didn't seem to be trying this year.

Three promising newcomers are the new American cardinals, Cupich, Farrell and Tobin, and we expect them to be strong entrants for the "Catholic of the Year" title next year. It just goes to show that a mere nobody may one day end up as pope...

Cupich laughs like a drain

Cardinal Cupich shows how senior churchmen behave with dignity.

We haven't yet blogged about him, but Archbishop Mark Coleridge of Brisbane is a strong tip for spiritually nourishing entertainment in 2017. Apart from his intemperate remarks about the four cardinals, he has found a novel use for churches in his diocese - naughtiness. Why isn't this man also a cardinal?

scandal in Brisbane

There are worse pictures around, but this is a family blog.

So the three finalists turned out to be
1. Fr Antonio Spadaro SJ, the Tolkien scholar;
2. Fr James Martin SJ, the Biblical scholar; and
3. The late Fr Jack Hackett (probably SJ), the most famous Catholic to die in 2016.

It was impossible to choose between them, so let's finish off with a few iconic souvenirs of 2016.


Trump and Farage

Pope Francis closes the "Door of Mercy" as the Jubilee Year of Revenge begins.


Robbie Williams

Fr Williams shows how to stay healthy after giving the Sign of Peace.


Scene from a Fu Manchu film

A South American bishop explains the new guidelines in Amoris Laetitia.


It really has been a tough year for Pope Francis (seen Before/After).

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

De Moly Cod

My Grate-anti Moly is a keen debater on bloggs, but when she loses de argumment she often shouts out ROFL! I fought at first dat it was just de dreaded Roflitis illness dat she got (when I comes into her room, she is often rollin around on de floor like a large black barrel), but now I realise dat what she means to say is ROLF, it is a coded cry for help to anuvver famuous Austrialan what used to be a boyfreind of hers, when Cradinal Pell ran away to become a cosstume holly man.

Rofl Harris

Rofl is 81, so he is still a bit yuonger dan Anti Moly, but dey was grate pals about 50 years ago. Howevver, I has to deny de wicked rumuors dat dey had any kids togetther, and dat dere is a grandson livin in Brisbain. When de Queen visitted Austriala a few months ago, dere was a very rude man wot showed his bottom to de Queen (she describbed it as an "Anus Horribilis"), and de specullation was dat he was Anti's granddson. Since she dennies dis strenously, we has to give her de bennyfit of de duobt.

Meanwhile, we is bein kept awake at nihgt by de suonds of "Tie me kagnaroo down, spot," and "Waltzing Mattilde," from someone serenadin outside Anti Moly's window. We aint sure whevver it is Rofl Harris or Cradinal Pell, but anyway Anti frew a bucket of water over him and he went away. As you see from dis pitcher, Cradinal Pell is tryin to introduce tradditoinal Austrialan music to de Pop, so he is also a susspect.

Pop and Pell

After we heard Anti Moly singin "Tan my hide when I'm dead, Fred" round de house, Bosco and me went to de local leather shop and asked if dey cuold do us a good deal on our Grate Anti. Dey is gonna come back to us wiv an esstimate. Wiv skin like hers dere probabbly aint much to do.

Farver Arfur has sent a letter to de Pop, sayin dat it wuold be good to open a branch of de Inquisitoin in Callifornia, and while he is visitin us he wuold be verry happy to torcher poeple in de name of de Lord (but if de Pop dont mind, he prefers to torcher traddy Cathlics, after readin out to dem a long list of dere sins, especailly all de bad fings dey has said).

Arfur is still hidin in our house, in case Dakwins comes to arrest him, and he has been convertin a spare room into a torcher chabmer. He finks de Pop will be impressed by his enthusiams.

Farver Arfur's parluor