This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday 14 May 2012

Bad hymns 2

Today we have an interview with the great Graham Kendrick, writer of a popular "Christian song."

E: Well, Mr Kendrick, your hymn, "Shine, Jesus, Shine," which is extremely popular with the under-9 age group, but which drives all adults crazy, has been nominated for the prestigious Eccles Bad Hymn Award. We recently interviewed one of your rivals, Sydney Carter, and now we come to you.

GK: It's great to be here, Eccles.

E: First the meaning of the song, then. Does the photograph below give some idea of your intentions when you refer to "Shine"? Romans 10:15? How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace?

Shine...

Shine...

GK: No, I don't think you have fully grasped the meaning of my song, Eccles. It is more to do with the idea of Jesus, the Light of the World, shining in the darkness.

E: I see. Well, of course that is stressed very well in the first verse, where you use the word "Shine" or "Shining" no less than five times (out of a total of 15 in the entire song, I think). Let's move on a bit, skipping over the embarrassing bit where you try to rhyme "presence" and "radiance," making the latter just two syllables, "Ray-jence."

GK:  Yes, many people have told me that the song doesn't really scan. If you clap your hands or bang your head against the wall at various points, it makes it go past a bit more smoothly.

E: Now, what's all this "Flow, river flow, Flood the nations with grace and mercy" stuff? Is that not a little insensitive these days, when we see many people threatened with flood water? Which river would that be, anyway?

flood the nations

Flood the nations.

GK: I'm afraid I didn't have any particular river in mind. The verse refers to "Jesus," then "Spirit," so I thought I'd add a cunning twist by not mentioning the "Father" but using "River" instead. If it makes people think of  the Big Guy in the Sky as "Old Man River," then that's all to the good, surely?

E: Is it? Oh, right. Could you settle one other point that I find difficult? "Blaze, Spirit blaze, Set our hearts on fire?" Why is it a good thing to have one's heart on fire? A quick check of the Bible suggests that it is quite a painful and distressing thing to endure. See Jeremiah 20:9:  There came in my heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was wearied, not being able to bear it.

There came in my heart as a burning fire.

GK: Think of it as poetry, Eccles. It doesn't mean anything, but it sounds good. So good that you have to sing the chorus three times before you are allowed to leave the church.

E: Mr Kendrick, thank you very much. Can I go now?

10 comments:

  1. Is it true that there is an Australian version called 'whine, moly whine' in honour of yore anti? Does any one know the full words?
    xx Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pell, the blight of your land is whining

      In the midst of the darkness whining

      Molly, blight of the blogs, whine upon us

      Plague the threads with the ROFLs you now bring us

      Whine on me, whine on me



      Whine, Molly, whine

      Fill this blog with Oztralia's boring

      Gin, drink up, gin

      Set our threads on ire

      Moan, Molly, moan

      Flood the world with haze and murky

      Send forth your ROFL

      Judy and let there be blight



      Judy I flee from your awful presence

      All the trolling that blogger resents

      With a ROFL you repeat your comments

      Report me, stalk me, consume all by increments

      Whine on me, whine on me



      Whine, Molly, whine

      Fill this blog with Oztralia's boring

      Gin, drink up, gin

      Set our threads on ire

      Moan, Molly, moan

      Flood the world with haze and murky

      Send forth your ROFL

      Judy and let there be blight



      As we gaze on your moany triteness

      So our avatars flee your likeness

      Ever wingeing from morn to evening

      With spite and ROFLs the blog's o'erflowing

      Whine on me, whine on me



      Whine, Molly, whine

      Fill this blog with Oztralia's boring

      Gin, drink up, gin

      Set our threads on ire

      Moan, Molly, moan

      Flood the world with haze and murky

      Send forth your ROFL

      Judy and let there be blight

      Delete
    2. I finks dat hynm will be very poppular.

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    3. Instant classik I would say!
      xx Jess

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  2. That will teach me to blog on religion, dear eccles. I am afraid my brief career is at an end as my fellow bloggers did not like what I was writing. Woeful! So I fear you'll have to take the link from your list of 'saved' as I am now not able to blog there!

    Woeful indeed.

    xx Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dat is woeful, sister Jessicca. Why doesnt you start your own blogg? It aint so hard to do.

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    2. I'm so sad to hear that, but yes you can start your own !!

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    3. You are both very kind. I don't know about one of my on? I was very happy to be part of a number of people posting, but not sure my witterings by themselves would do! Still, I can always post on DT.

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    4. Does you have copies of de 2 posts dat you put on de needle blogg? You cuold add dem as long comments on dis blogg, maybe.

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    5. If you do make your own blog, dear Jessica -- might I suggest calling it "The Other Place" ?

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