This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 16 November 2015

Pope admits: "I don't really like Catholics"

After a very successful meeting with Rome's Lutheran church, Pope Francis has finally said what many people suspected all along, namely, "I don't really like Catholics."

Diet of Worms

The Diet of Worms. On behalf of all Catholics, an apology for "judging" Martin Luther.

"Of course, I'm not referring to people like my great friend, the intellectual giant, Walter Kasper," he added, "nor to people like Fr Tommy Rosica and Fr Jimmy Martin S.J. Some people don't really think of these as Catholics, anyway. But as for the rest..."

Pouring out his woes to a sympathetic audience of Lutherans, the pope went on to say that practically all Catholics were airport gnostics, leprous neo-Pelagians, existential parrot-Christians, Renaissance functionaries and pepper-faced tourists. "Thank God for Martin Luther," he added. "He certainly put Catholics in their place."

Pope and child

"You little promoter of the poison of immanence!"

"Wait until the Year of Mercy starts," he added. "Those Catholics won't know what hit them! Then, when it ends, we'll be just in time to celebrate the Reformation!"

It is felt that Pope Francis may be disgruntled by the outcome of the recent synod, when he was severely embarrassed by constant references to scripture and tradition. However, as pope, he gets the final word, and is said to be ready to take the Catholic church in new directions, following the lead of the great Martin Luther.

Luther at church door

Pope Francis nails his 95 theses to the door of St Peter's.


  1. I've heard of English bishops making up sins to confess...but now the Pope?

  2. My two cats wonder why Pope Francis hates sour pusses.

  3. I have a rather delicate digestion, afriad a diet of worms would not agree with me, at all.
    But I liked that hammer being used in the last pic - you know, if you'd just add a sickle, you'd have some nifty liturgical art.
    (Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

  4. Next headline: Francis apologises to Martin Luther on behalf of Leo X!

  5. Tell us something we don't know!