This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 6 April 2020

Parlez-vous Ivereigh?

Following Dr Austen Ivereigh's courageous correction of Queen Elizabeth's use of, er, the Queen's English*, he is now working on a new phrase book explaining how we should all talk.

*Don't worry, Austen, you won't be sent to the Tower until the pandemic is over.

Ivereigh corrects the Queen

Oh, your Majesty, if only Austen had been there to advise you!

We are happy to present a few examples of Ivereigh-speak from the new phrase book.

English: Dictator.
Ivereigh: Wounded shepherd.

Example of usage: "Mussolini was a notorious wounded shepherd."


Wounded shepherd.

English: Convert.
Ivereigh: Neurotic.

Example: Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first neurotic in the province of Asia. Romans 16:5.

St Epenetus

St Epenetus the neurotic.

English: Traditional Catholic.
Ivereigh: Gay.

Example: Until the 1960s, all Catholic worship was gay.

traditional mass

Don't let Austen in - he's not gay!

English: Destroyer of idols.
Ivereigh: Fascist.

Example: When Moses approached the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, his anger burned and he turned into a fascist. Exodus 31: 19-20.

Moses and golden calg

"Moses, you're a fascist!"

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm. I thought I posted one.
    I shared your blog, what has Twitter told you? We need you back. Start a new account if need be. We'll still have fun even if some can't find you at first.