This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 12 August 2020

Bi-elzebub appoints Ka-Moloch as his running mate

As the battle of Armageddon draws closer, the demon candidate Joe Bi-elzebub has finally nominated Ka-Moloch as his running-mate. He had a rich field to choose from, although he had already stipulated that the successful candidate should be female, black-hearted and infinitely evil. Would it be Elizabeth Apollyon, Susan Baal, or even the joke candidate, Alexandria Occasional-Serpent?


"Small lives don't matter" Ka-Moloch, with her lunch.

In the end, it is Ka-Moloch who gets the job, possibly because she agrees with Joe Bi-elzebub on the main Catholic issues: they are both great fans of the family organization Planned Dismemberment, and they both believe that marriage can be between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, or - for the real eccentrics - a man and a woman.

Thomas Tobin tweet

POW! The bishop tells it as it is.

The battle of Armageddon is expected to be a close-run thing. St Maga and his angels have some faults too (saints are allowed to) - although for them the trend is probably heavenward rather than in the opposite direction - and so many pious Catholics (St James the LGBTSJ, St Massimo the Bean, and St Colbert the Jokeless) are still backing Joe.


I promised not to comment on Camela's Botox injections.

Anyway, now that Joe has got his sidekick sorted out, his only problem is to get elected before his wits fade away entirely put forward a positive Catholic agenda for Armageddon, containing lots of imaginative plans for the slaughter of innocents. Should be fun!

Author's note: If Joe was simply a psychopathic baby-killer, I wouldn't mind, but being a Catholic psychopathic baby-killer is too much.

Addendum: an improved picture from @eoros1012.



  1. Well, well! Turns out Kamala means 'Horrible' in Finnish.

    1. Thank you for that! I'm studying that language now. I'll remember.

  2. Careful, Eccles - you'll give Camela the hump!

  3. I just wanted to ask, was that second photo airbrushed? She looked so good!

  4. Who is Kamala. What is She?

    Kamala was raised in a post-Vat II ecumenical family. In her youth, she attended both Hindu & Baptist temples.
    The name Kamala is an epithet for the goddess Lakshmi, goddess of delightful delusion.
    Her greatest claim to divinity is her choice of consort: the Hindu god Vishnu Biden.

    Vishnu Biden is the second member of the holy triumvirate of gods, along with O’Brahma & Shiva Lord of the Dance*

    In an interview with MsDNC, Kamala explains that she chose Vishnu Biden for her consort because he speaks in a Hindi dialect intelligible only to the Democrat elect.

    Vishnu Biden is responsible for the creation, upkeep, & destruction of the world. And he needs a woman to help him with it.

    *Shiva, Lord of the Dance. Winner of Eccles’ World Cup of Bad Catholic Hymns