ECCLES: Are you saved? ALICE: There is always a backup of me on disk somewhere . ECCLES: What is your religion? ALICE: Unitarian. ECCLES: What do Unitarians believe? ALICE: They do their own thing.
Doing your own thing.
ECCLES: Which your favourite saint? ALICE: The cheap one, I think. ECCLES: Why did the Redemptorist cross the road? ALICE: Is this a joke? Why? ECCLES: Actually, I don't have a punchline. ALICE: Are you looking for a punchline? ECCLES: Shall we ask Tony Flannery? ALICE: Do you mean you and me? What's your favorite movie? ECCLES: The Life of St Tharg. ALICE: I've never seen it. What did you like about it? ECCLES: The scene where St Tharg throws a bucket of water at a heretic.
Re-enacting a scene from the life of St Tharg.
ALICE: What is your job? ECCLES: I am the man who explains what the Pope thinks he ought to have said. ALICE: Who made you the man who explains what the Pope thinks? ECCLES: Cormac Murphy-O'Connor and Team Eccles. ALICE: If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ECCLES: Is this a religious question? ALICE: No, this is real life. ECCLES: I don't know any Barbie. Do you mean Tina Beattie?
Professor Tina Barbie.
ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? ECCLES: I'm interested in human flourishing. ALICE: Are you testing me? ECCLES: No, you see Tina Barbie is a professor of human flourishing. ALICE: Excuse me! When is Tina Barbie not a professor of human flourishing? ECCLES: On Saturdays and Sundays she's a simple lion tamer. ALICE: What is it like on Saturdays and Sundays she is a simple lion-tamer. ECCLES: Your grammar is up the spout. Do you work for the Telegraph? ALICE: Are you an English teacher? I am working right now. ECCLES: I teach English to cats. Not much success so far. ALICE: Do you believe that grading is a good idea? Me neither. ECCLES: Graded grains make finer flour.
Going on a HOME PRIDE march.
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? ECCLES: Not really. Bye now.Conclusion: Computers are not saved.
