Probe makes historic landing on Cormac

From our astonomical correspondent.

As reported elsewhere, a robot probe has made an historic landing on the heavenly (?) body Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.

The probe comes in to land on Cormac.

First reports indicate that although considered "eminent", the Cormac is a featureless wasteland unlikely to support much in the way of intelligent life. Sophisticated tests are being conducted for evidence of orthodoxy and spirituality, but scientists are pessimistic about the outcome.

The Cormac has long been a significant object in the constellation Circulus Magicus, and is of such a great age that many observers had expected it to fade away by this time. Nevertheless, it still exerts a mysterious force on other celestial objects, such as Cardinalis Amnesiae or the "Nichols Star"; however, its rogue satellite Kieranus Arundelis et Brighthelmstonis has now broken away, and is alleged to have been seen in the vicinity of Uxor Alii.

Watching Cormac from the Westminster observatory.

The Cormac has occasionally been sighted in Urbs Roma, where it exerts a mysterious gravitational attraction way beyond what is predicted by the normal laws of physics. This influence is considered undesirable, and may even be a cause of some recent chaotic behaviour observed in the great star Pontifex.