This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 3 September 2012

Let's all be pilgrims

For an imaginative holiday this autumn, why not become a pilgrim? No religious beliefs are necessary, as we highlight some of the excursions on offer.

Novus Ordo Ultra

St Daryl's offers a liberal pilgrimage for those who don't think Vatican II went far enough.

Who is leading the pilgrimage? Hey, we don't have leaders as such; however, Fr Arthur will be at the front, walking backwards so that he can face the congregation at all times.

Where are we going? This is a bit of a mystery - we rather hope that Fr Arthur doesn't lead us over a cliff. But, hey, it doesn't matter where we're going, or even if we all go to the same place. There's no such thing as a sacred site in the 21st century.

Is everyone welcome? Of course. We will particularly welcome atheists, Muslims and Buddhists, who are currently under-represented in the modern Catholic church.

Genes Makyth Man

The arms of New College, Oxford (the motto is being corrected to "Genes Makyth Man").

The Foundation Church of Dawkins offers a Dawkins-themed pilgrimage to the sacred places associated with Dawkins.

Visit the grave of Chrissie the chicken, about which Richard wrote a Ph.D. thesis! See the shop of the blind watchmaker who broke Richard's watch! Visit Marks and Spencer, where Dawkins buys his selfish jeans! Ride in a bus bearing the Dawkins message: "God is probably not riding on this bus!" See the police station to which Richard would have taken the Pope, if he had been allowed to arrest him!

BBC Quarry 1

Visit BBC Quarry Number 1, where the future Mrs Dawkins filmed many adventures

Mormons! Come and see the sacred places visited by the Angel Mitromni!

Yes, until the year 2012, British Mormons felt left out: the keystone of the Mormon faith was that God's final message to mankind was delivered in America. But then the Angel Mitromni came to England, and now British Mormonism is flourishing!


The Angel Mitromni

Visit the holy city of London, where the Angel Mitromni spake unto Boris, saying, "How pathetic are thy Olympics!" See the Temple of Miliband, at which Mitromni spake unto Ed, saying "Nice to meet you, David. What do you do, exactly?"

Sacred plates

The sacred plates (now washed) on which the Angel Mitromni's lunch was served

The Angel Mitromni's words have been transcribed in the Book of Gaffes, a work sacred to all British Mormons.


  1. surely that should be 'memes' makyth man?

    Can I respectfully suggest that Chrissie the Chicken, who nobly sacrificed herself in the cause of atheism, should occupy the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square? It would give the pigeons something to look up to, rather than down on.

    1. Dem's very good points, Jaddis!

  2. Of course, there would have to be more than one chicken on the plinth, so Chrissie could establish her position in the pecking order. I believe, however, there may be some competition for the plinth, as an anonymous suggestion has been received that a large Rabbit be installed, in memory of the Unknown Sockpuppet. I worry, though, that some iconoclast from Plymouth might mistake it for an idle, and knock its head off. we live in violent times.

    1. As a humble toiler in the vineyard of the Lord, I would be most embarrassed to see a large rabit erection in Trafalgar Square, so defer to the chicken arrangements.

      In any case, the spectacle of Father Paul Andrew and the fat Canadian lunatic known as "Johnhenry" screaming abuse at a statue of a rabit would be an affront to all who appreciate polished street theatre.

      Does anyone know quite how The Rabit acquired such a strange attraction as focus for hatred of the nutters on the DT blog? It beats me. Maybe it was something I said? :-)

    2. I suspect that they are Belgian masons.

  3. Okay. So how do I get back? I've always commended your blog. Now the only way to DT is via the library !
    I've cleared cookies and history on Safari but no joy. I can't re-register.
    I have the name of the Moderation manager if all else fails. Laptop is the same "Comments blocked".

    1. Phil Evans, you is a scream, man. Every time I sees anything you writes, I wants to scream. I just loved the way you blamed me for getting blocked on DT's awful blog. Is that because Johnhenry blamed me for him getting banned and you want to get in on the act? Touching.

  4. For the attention of jadis
    Jesuits to take over the administration of the Holy Name.
    Bye Bye Latin Mass.

    1. Just let them try, and they will soon be in the Manchester Royal having their marraccas

  5. Eccles, have you explored the origins of pigrimage? It would be good if you could do a narticle on your luvvly blogue. Apparently, pigrimage is a game originating in northern England in which teams contest to run with a piglet between two villages with churches containing relics of rival local saints. The winning team kicks the opposition in the shins and places the piglet on the altar of the defeated church. Powerful stuff, as they say up north.

    (Pigrimage is also available as a board game.)

  6. Removed in A&E. curse this tablet.