This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday, 10 May 2013

Rebel Catholics meet in Leeds

As reported enthusiastically by The Tablet (a formerly Catholic newspaper), the rebel group "A Call to Action" (ACTA) has taken advantage of the Sede vacante status of the Leeds diocese to occupy Hinsley Hall and preach dissent.

Hinsley Hall

Hinsley Hall. Did ACTA mistake this for the Vatican?

According to the Tablet article, the meeting was organized by Chris Larkman, who lives in FEAR. Said he: "Bishops who are frightened of Rome, laity fearful of priests, priests fearful of bishops. It is not creative and there seems to be a lot of it in the Church."

The reign of terror, stage 1.

Pope Francis

The Pope in Rome. If you are a bishop, be VERY afraid.

The reign of terror, stage 2.

Tom Burns

A bishop (of sorts). If you are a priest, be EVEN MORE afraid.

The reign of terror, stage 3.

Fr Ray Blake

A priest. If you are a layman, why not hide behind the sofa?

Apparently ACTA is calling for better dialogue between bishops and laity on a variety of topics, including "a theology of sexuality more closely rooted in the experiences of the laity." Who knows? Perhaps this means that they will introduce the topic of homosexuality, which after all is NEVER mentioned in Catholic circles.

Gandalf and Bilbo

Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins discuss a theology of sexuality in The Hobbit.

We are relieved to see that Mgr Marcus Stock, the General Secretary of the Bishops' Conference of England and Wales, attended the meeting. Since he is a pillar of orthodoxy (apart from being unable to work out the date of Ascension Day), it is believed that he was alerted when the burglar alarm went off in Hinsley Hall, and he was summoned to investigate. But perhaps he also lives in FEAR. Who knows?

Stock and +Vin

Mgr Stock, evidently afraid of the armed archbishop at his side.


  1. It appears the dissenters are experiencing dissent in their own ranks, as the dialogue on their discussion group indicates re:

    'The Tablet' article:!category-topic/acalltoaction/IQj-iQm3kM0

    And their 'mission statement':!category-topic/acalltoaction/9LW0ENr0AFc

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  3. There are widespread rumours amongst the rebels they thought it was St Basil's Cathedral in Moscow not Hinsley Hall which would explain why the FEAR is even worse than your report.

  4. As to Stage 3… Indeed the “fear of Fr. Blake” might just be “the beginning of wisdom” for the Call to Action crowd…

    I mean, the good Father doesn’t just ‘call’ to action, he actually acts…

    As Yakof Smirnoff used to say: “What a concept!”

  5. Is that chap in picture 3 a priest? What is he wearing?

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  7. Reign of Terror by the Catholic Hierarchy? These guys are such pussies that Mulier Fortis could tie them up with a ball of pink wool and push them back through the cat flap. Now speaking as a Queen Empress who had quite successful reigns of terror in both Charn and Narnia, I can tell you that the key to successful terrorising is a hideous and intimidating entourage. Though it might appear difficult to source hags, ancient crones, snaggle-toothed hairybacked werewolves, black bearded dwarfs, and bull-headed mutant deacons - "A Call To TrAction" and "Stand up with the help of your Zimmer 4 Vat 2" can provide a selection of frightening specimens from their membership lists (or so it appears from their publicity materials). If all else fails, then you might need to employ a Deplorable Bird, such as Tina Beastly, or Catherine Dyspepsia.