This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Liturgy for G. K. Chesterton

Special Liturgy for the Feast of Gilbert of Beaconsfield (May 29th)

G. K. Chesterton

The opening words

Priest, Fr Brown (for it is he): I'm sorry, but the 
bishop's late. He missed the train.
People: The only way to be sure of catching a train is 
to miss the one before it.
Priest: The bishop comes from Birmingham...
People: By way of Beachy Head.
Beachy Head

Naught for your comfort: the bishop was last seen here.

Reading from Holy Scripture
John 2:1-11, the story of the turning of water into wine.

The prayers

Priest: We pray for the canonization of St Gilbert.
People: It has not been tried and found wanting; 
it has been found difficult and not tried.
Priest: We shall now have a moment of silent prayer.
Deacon: The poets have been mysteriously 
silent on the subject of cheese.
Priest: Ssshhh!

A subject for prayer and contemplation.

Priest: It isn't that they can't see the solution... 
People: It is that they can't see the problem.
Priest: If a thing is worth doing... 
People: It is worth doing badly.
Priest: A dead thing can go with the stream...
People: But only a living thing can go against it.
The Dismissal
Priest: The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, 
and also to love our enemies...
People: Probably because they are generally the same people.
Priest: Will someone take me to a pub?
People: Good idea!
Chesterton and Blogg

Our soon-to-be patron saint with his own Luvvly (Frances) Blogg.


  1. Gasp.

    Has Rabit lost the plot? Nothing makes sense today. Neither the 'Other Place', nor CP&S, nor Eccles once luvvly blog. I need to go and eat some strong cheese.

  2. As GK Chesterton once wrote about ECCLES.

    There is one sin: to call a green leaf gray,
    Whereat the sun in heaven shuddereth.
    There is one blasphemy: for death to pray,
    For God alone knoweth the praise of death.

    There is one creed: ’’neath no world-terror’s wing
    Apples forget to grow on apple-trees.
    There is one thing is needful everything
    The rest is vanity of vanities.

  3. Optional recessional hymn, "O God of Earth and Altar" sung to the tune King's Lynn. Even though GKC was tone-deaf (but only literally).

  4. If dear GKC is ever canonized, I hope Our Lord will set his throne in Heaven right next to that of St. Theresia Benedicta a Cruce (AKA Edith Stein) — a German Jew who was also a Prussian professor and a feminist, everything he most disdained — « onde, sì tosto come li occhi aperse in questo ciel, di sé medesmo rise. »