This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Religious leaders comment on the environment

Well, never mind the Pope's encyclical for the moment. What do other religious leaders have to say?

Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama.

The isness of the one is the oneness of the all. We are one with the Earth, and the Earth is one with us. Putting it more simply, the wholeness of the essence of being is the key to the oneness of the why. If I say to myself, "Hello, Dalai!" then am I not talking to myself? Whereas, if I say to a tree, "Hello, Laurel," then am I not communing with the Universe? The upshot of that is that we should talk to trees, indeed we should listen to trees. For are we not trees ourselves? I know I am.

Justin Welby

Justin Welby.

Now, it's not for an Anglican clergyman to preach to you; indeed, until my opinions have been approved by a 2/3 majority at the General Synod, we cannot be sure that they are truly the will of God - if He exists, and that's a question that we still aren't agreed on! However, I think I can stick my neck out here and say - in a very real sense - that if we are all doomed to be inconvenienced by War, Famine, Disease and Death, then this will be jolly unpopular in some circles. Still, I am happy to reassure my critics that the Church of England is instituting a system of "Smoking Bishops" to minister to those who think that being drowned by rising seas and bursting into flames is a good thing on the whole. So, as usual, we are catering for all beliefs and none. After all, that's why we're here!

Abu Hamza

Imam Abu Hamza.

We are all called to Jihad, and by that I mean the massacre of the infidel. But Allah asks us to do this in a way that respects the planet. Beheading Christians is ecologically sound - it has a very low carbon footprint - whereas shooting them releases dangerous greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. I used to be quite keen on the use of landmines, until I discovered Green Terrorism; nowadays I respect all nature - except for humans of course.

screaming clown

Brother Bosco of the Calvary Chapel.

I don't care about the environment. If the Pope says we must respect it, then he's saying this as part of some international baby-eating conspiracy including the Jesuits, the freemasons, Sepp Blatter, the Mafia, the Inland Revenue, the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing show, and the Mothers' Union. Trust me, I read all about it on,,, and Richard Dawkins's website The Catholics are just using atmospheric pollution as a smokescreen. Nurse! Where's my medication?


  1. Brother Bosco , you have forgotten the Zionists, surely they are a part of this conspiracy? Don't disappoint Galloway, Livingstone, and Williamson.

  2. And Richard Dawkins said "How dare the Pope try to jump on our bandwagon!"

  3. Spokeswoman for the Church of Charlotte: "If I though it would solve climate change I'd happily pay 70% income tax. But it probably won't so I'm not going to give any more (than I'm legally obliged to). I may be mad as a hatter, but I'm not stupid."

  4. Isn't Serge Lama the son of Dalai?

  5. I used to read "The Daily Lama" until it was closed down for lack of much to say.