This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Pope seeks Catholic forgiveness for persecution

After apologising to the Protestant churches for the persecution they suffered during the Reformation - and most of us didn't even know that he was personally responsible, so it's very good of him to take the blame after all these years - Pope Francis has now made the grand apology that we've all been waiting for.

Pope and Burke

Cardinals queue up to forgive Pope Francis.

"It's time for me to apologise for the persecution for which I myself am responsible, rather than some long-dead people that I never even knew," he said. "Therefore I wish to apologise to traditional Catholics for all the persecution they have suffered in the last three years."

The Pope went on to apologise for the treatment of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate, for the bullying of Cardinal Burke, and for frightening people with threats to change Catholic teaching on marriage and the family.

Pope and Morales

"I apologise for not clubbing President Morales over the head with this abominable object."

The Holy Father went on to apologise for all the insults he had come out with on a daily basis, including the notorious "self-absorbed Promethean neo-Pelagian" epithet. He was also very sorry for his ferocious outburst against the Curia in Rome, when he accused them of suffering from "spiritual Alzheimer's".

"Such rudeness is inexcusable," he admitted. "As Pope I am supposed to preach love and mercy, but sometimes I simply can't manage it. But you know how irritating Catholics can be - just because Jesus taught something, and it's been agreed by the Church for two thousand years, they tell me it has some sort of official validity, and so I can't change it. You wouldn't find the Protestants making that sort of mistake!"

Pope and painting

"And I'm sorry I left handprints all over your painting."


  1. Is apologising for things you haven't done a bishop thing? Like the bishop who made up sins in confession?

    1. Tony Blair was a dab hand at apologising for things he hadn't done. Strange that he's never apologised for this he has done.

  2. 🎵 "Sweet dreams are made of this.... "

  3. I'm so glad Pope Francis has apologized.That will make everything he says from here on out easier to ignore.

  4. You have missed the point, Eccles. The whole art of public apologising lies in making apologies for something that couldn't possibly be your fault, or your responsibility.

    If Popes, Prime Ministers, Archbishops of Canterbury etc start apologising for things that really are down to them, well, I don't know where we shall be.

  5. On a more serious note, Popes have been apologizing to Protestants for persecutions against them. Yet, I have yet to hear Protestants apologize to Catholics for the persecutions, murders, and thefts they have committed against the Catholic Church.