This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Enda Kenny taken into care

In Ireland it has been reported that little Enda Kenny, 62, has been taken into care, after it was discovered that he had no features in common with the Roman community who had been bringing him up.

Little Enda

Little Enda with his alleged parents.

Said a police spokesman, "We did a full DNA test on Enda, and failed to find any of the usual moral principles that we associate with the Roman community - for example, he had a strange fascination for abortion, which you would not expect to see in such people. Moreover, his whole anatomy is unusual, as he has no moral fibre and no backbone."

Eamon Martin

Eamon Martin, de facto leader of the Roman community in Ireland.

Eamon Martin, the man whom the Roman community calls "the big cheese", has said that he had noticed that little Enda was rather different from the rest of his people. However, he had decided not to expel him, hoping that the boy might blend in unnoticed. Unfortunately, it was not hard to see that he stuck out like a sore thumb.

sore thumb

A sore thumb, similar to that like which little Enda stuck out.

The police are making enquiries in other countries, and it seems likely that a large number of similar cases will be brought to light. In Britain for example, Operation Tablet has been launched, which is likely to net a huge number of misplaced Romans. "These people need to be taken into care," said Inspector Welby ("Flying Welby of the Yard"),"and I think they will be happier with us."

flying Welby

Flying Welby of the Yard.


  1. Hilarious! Vintage Eccles. You have created a unique blog form: Catholic satire at its best. Repsect Bruv.

    1. Well I aint the only pusson wot writes a comic Cathlic blogg, bruvver rabit - there's a very funny deacon wot tries to compete wiv me. But thanks for de complements.

  2. That's the Enda DNA and Enda.

  3. Church leaders all have a mysterious addiction these days of Millinerophilia or mad hat disease.

  4. Please never stop. We, the remnant need the wonderful gift of delighted laughter that you give us with every post!!

  5. Darling eccles - now I haz stopped laughing for a moment, I just wants to agree with the gallant rabit - sheer genius xx Jess

  6. Oh Heaven Eccles! This is your best yet! Be warned! If you disappear from the blogosphere you will be ruthlessly tracked down and forced to keep making us laugh.

    Your most humble admirer


  7. With the NSA bugging Euro politicians, how did they miss Enda…?

    Maybe they figured he was beyond caring about?

    But, of course, not beyond redemption - though that may take awhile.

    Look at Tony Bliar. On second thoughts, don’t look…

  8. Eccles

    You keep me sane.

  9. Actually, he keeps me insane. But it's all good.