This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 23 June 2013

The Scandal of Pope Francis

The Catholic Church was up in arms today, when yet more evidence emerged that Pope Francis isn't the same as Pope Benedict.

WYD setting

The set for World Youth Day, designed by Pope Francis. Note the Satanic horns.

Take for example World Youth Day 2013 in Rio. Originally, Pope Benedict had suggested an elegant Gothic setting for this important event. But the moment that Francis jumped onto the chair of St Peter, he decided to reverse this decision and chose a design out of Star Wars, which he planned and built in 3 months flat.

Old WYD setting

The site of WYD, as planned by Benedict XVI (now demolished).

Pope Francis continues to bring shame on the Catholic church. Last night he was supposed to be watching Rome's Got Talent, presented by Antonio and Decani; instead he chose to go off and do some work, meeting a group of nuncios (only one of whom was able to juggle fried eggs while standing on one leg and whistling Follow me, follow me!). Then he dared to go off and do some praying - as if he didn't do enough of that already!

Pope wasting time

Pope Francis praying - when he could be having FUN!

In other news, a miraculous vision has appeared in the bathroom wall of a blogger by the name of Eccles. It is not believed to have any religious significance, but an exorcist has been called just in case.


This can't be what the Tablet calls "Catholic wallpaper".


  1. Is dis what de Dame would call a 'scoop', darling eccles? Well done, who does de dame fink dis Pop is then? xx Jess

  2. Looks like they're re-using the set from the Pope's visit to the UK...

  3. Wait. We have another Pope? We can do that? Just go from one Pope to another? That's amazing!

  4. Pope Francis praying? Looks rather like John Paul ll to me - but hey ho a pops a pop after all Eccles!

    1. Another scandal! Pope Francis looks too much like JPII.

      I'm fairly sure it is Francis:

  5. does the Tablet have a wallpaper correspondent?

  6. The Tablet only does "cut and paste" wallpaper now as they laid of the correspondent.

  7. Pope Francis doesn't like Beethoven so he gave the concert a miss: wait till they do Albeniz.

  8. "...but an exorcist has been called just in case."

    Sounds like the beginning of a joke...

    "An exorcist goes into a bathroom..."

  9. Come friendly bombs and fall on Rio
    (And please don't stop them, Padre Pio)
    It isn't fit for Catholics now.

  10. Dear Sir,

    I am utterly disgusted that the Catholic Church sees fit to waste money building a thirteenth century cathedral and knocking it down again. This is just the kind of thing John Ruskin was complaining about in his classic treatise on the subject, "Stoned in Venice."

    If young people want some sort of jamboree why not let them organise it themselves? In my day, the youth were quite content to get together with a few deckchairs on a bomb site, a bottle of lemonade and a lutenist.

    Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells