This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Atheists to issue nude calendar

Following the water attack on Archbishop André-Joseph Léonard of Mechelen-Brussels, by topless "Femen" protestors from Kiev, unwilling to tolerate Catholic teaching on homosexuality (and probably almost everything else), atheists have decided that the best way to get their message across is to strip off. The first Atheists' Nude Calendar is already being prepared.

Archbishop Léonard

Archbishop! Buy our calendar!

Said a prominent atheist, Prof. Brian Cox of Manchester: "The production of J/ψ mesons is studied in pp collisions at √s=7 TeV with the CMS experiment at the LHC. The measurement is based on a dimuon sample corresponding to an integrated luminosity of 314 nb−1. The J/ψ differential cross section is determined, as a function of the J/ψ transverse momentum, in three rapidity ranges. Which basically means, 'If I strip off it will persuade more people to take me seriously.'"

Brian Cox

Brian Cox, March's Calendar Boy.

Of course, female atheists are also anxious to contribute their charms to the cause of denying God in the home. Said Polly Toynbee of the Guardian, "Recently, I haven't been stripping off so much, but I am allowing the producers of the calendar to use an old photo taken in my wilder student days."

Polly Toynbee

Polly Toynbee (Miss December) in her student days.

Another exhibitionist, er, I mean selfless contributor to the cause of atheism, is Stephen Fry, who posted on Twitter: Whooooooooooooop!!!!! Life is so rich and varied. Lovely Stephen, you're a naughty boy! Bless!

Stephen Fry in the bath

Stephen Fry (August), also posted his bathtime video on Youtub.

But what of Richard Dawkins, the "Unholy Father" of British atheists? Will he be baring all for the sake of persuading people that God does not exist? No, so far he is remaining modestly covered up, to the annoyance of his fellow-atheists. Some people are just shy and self-conscious, don't you find?

Dawkins goes swimming

Even when he goes swimming, Richard keeps his shirt on.

So far it seems unlikely that any Christian organizations will be producing a rival nude calendar, although Giles Fraser has declared himself "willing to strip off if the money's good enough."


  1. It's sad. Atheists are so terribly desperate to be noticed. You know the old adage, If they can't get attention for being good, then they'll get attention for being - well - I guess in atheist-world there is no good or bad / right or wrong, but you know what I mean. Children - they're the same everywhere.

  2. I find this atheist creed very difficult to follow. Maybe they need an Atheist Council of Nicea type thing. Just to make their beliefs clearer to us poor Catholics.

  3. I suppose if they stripped off they'd stop getting their knickers in a twist? xx Jess

  4. That isn't Ms Toynbee in the picture - it's the lovely Micky Toss, inspecting her molluscs.

  5. What upset me most about the story was hearing from a high school student that it is "peaceful protest" because they didn't physically touch him. I told her I'll bet she'd call the police if someone did that to her in the street. Her reply: "I'd beat the $%^& out of them."

  6. At last! The naked truth about atheists - not much to reveal.